I'm not a quack
by Prepare-for-the-crazy
Summary: Dr. Cockroach has finally perfected his invention. He can share it with the others and they can now have normal lives! Yet, something seems to have changed between the Doc and Susan...Read to find out more! Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**So I thought I'd give my hand a try with this pairing. I find them adorable! The idea isn't original, but I found it rather creative. Enjoy!**

He wasn't a quack. He wasn't crazy. He knew he wasn't. He was just...eccentric! That's it! He had his own way of things. He was original! Flamboyant! A genius! Besides, would a crazy person stay up till the wee hours of the night to work on an invention that would benefit not only himself, but others as well? He should hope not! Dr. Cockroach sighed and pulled at his antenna. He almost had it. Just a few more equations, some mixtures, and TA-DA! It would be done. He had to focus. He had to stay awake!

_Maybe a few minutes of rest would do me some good..._He thought sleepily to himself.

His eyelids slowly closed as he laid his head down on his desk. Right when he was about to let sleep overcome him, he popped back up.

"What are you thinking, old boy?" He scolded himself. "Think about the others! Think about Link, B.O.B., Insecto/Butterflyosaurous, and...and Susan! You don't want to disappoint them now, do you?"

He got back to work.

"Raise the four...multiply by pi..." He muttered to himself as he worked out the calculations in his head. "Divide by the circumference...Eureka!"

He did it! He had finally finished after months of studying and preparing. Failure after failure and he never gave up. This was it. He was sure of it.

_Don't count your eggs before they hatch..._He reminded himself. _It still needs to be tested out..._

He uneasily looked at the machine. Dr. Cockroach was no idiot. In fact, he was the exact opposite. He knew he should never test an unpredictable experiment on himself. Learned that one the hard way. Yet, he couldn't risk the others finding out his surprise until he was 100% sure it worked. It was with a shaky hand he attached the wires to his face. He put his hand on the dial and cranked it to the right. Then, with closed eyes, he flipped the switch.

Even he couldn't help the blood-curdiling scream that ripped out of his throat. He could feel the millions of jolts going through his body as it tore away at his DNA. He fell to the floor as he writhed in pain.

* * *

As soon as she heard the scream, she knew it was Dr. Cockroach. Even his screams were accented by his English accent. Susan ripped the sheets off of her as she stumbled out of her cot. Her door slid open and she turned to see Link, B.O.B., and Insecto come out of their designated rooms, each sharing a look of worry as they rushed in the direction of the scream. They all gasped when all they saw was a burnt, white lab coat.

"N-No..." Susan whispered as she picked up the still smoking coat.

"Alright, Doc." Link said laughing nervously. "This is a good one! Now where are you hiding?"

Susan just looked at Link sadly as tears started to form in her eyes.

"Link..." She started to say when a slight groaning caught all of their attention.

"D-Doc?" Susan said hopefully as she spotted an object moving in the shadows.

A handsome man stepped out of the shadows with his hand held to his head. He had slick, black hair and a pencil thin mustache. He was wearing a black turtle-neck and dark pants. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at them with familiar looking, amber eyes. B.O.B. approached the man in confusion.

"Who are you?" B.O.B. asked as he looked the guy over. "Do you know what happened to Doc?"

"What are you talking about, B.O.B.?" The man asked in a clear, English accent. "What do you mean what happened to me?"

"No way..." Link said. "Is that you, Doc?"

"Well, of course!" The man said rolling his eyes. "Who else would-wait."

The man looked down at his hands. His _human _hands.

"I-It worked." He said in disbelieve. "It worked! I did it! I figured it out! Guys, I did it! It's me! Dr. Cockroach! I figured out how to turn us all human, so that we can leave this god-awful place!"

Dr. Cockroach did a victory dance and looked at Susan.

"My dear, you can finally have the normal life I know you dreamt about. I could see it in your eyes. Now, we can all be humans!" Dr. Cockroach exclaimed.

"Doc, are you sure it's...safe?" She asked uneasily.

"Of course, my dear!" He assured her. "I mean just how do I look?"

"Well...uh.." Susan blushed. "You do look very...handsome..."

Dr. Cockroach tried to control his own blush at the compliment.

"Th-Thank you, but I came out fine!" He said quickly. "The pain doesn't last long, and the outcome is worth it. I promise."

"Well..." Susan said before smiling at him. "If you're positive it'll work, I trust you."

They exchanged smiles and Dr. C hooked her up and transformed in no time at all. There she stood with her original brown hair. Luckily, her suit changed with her. The others weren't as lucky when their turns came. Link, B.O.B., and Insecto stood in their birthday suits. Link now had tanned skin and green hair. B.O.B. was pale with blue hair. Insecto had slightly pink skin with orange-red hair.

"B.O.B., you-you're covering yourself!" Link exclaimed. "It's like you have a-"

"A brain." Dr. C interrupted. "Yes. He has one now. Humans need them to function properly."

"So I'm smart now? Woohoo!" B.O.B. started cheering as he removed his hands from covering himself. "Whoops!"

"Sorry, B.O.B., but just because you have one doesn't mean you are smart." Dr. C explained. "Any who~. We need to get you three some clothes. Come with me. I might have some extra clothes for you to borrow. Susan, you might want to head on to bed. We can tell Monger in the morning."

Susan nodded and they went their separate ways. Once she got to her room, however, she encountered a slight problem. The keypad was too far for her to reach. She couldn't get into her room.

"Uh-oh..." She said to herself. "Better go tell Dr. C..."

She headed to his room and ran into Link, B.O.B., and Insecto. They looked ridiculous. Doc's clothes were obviously to small for them. Link decided to just walk in the ripped pants without a shirt, where as B.O.B. and Insecto had the shirts riding up their stomachs. She had to stifle a giggle as she past them.

"Hey, guys." She chuckled. "Is Doc still in his room?"

"Yeah. He's about to get ready for bed." Link said without saying anything else.

Susan quickly went to Doc's room and knocked on his door.

"I'm sorry, Link, but that's all I ha-Oh." Dr. C stopped midsentence when he realized it wasn't Link complaining about his clothes. He self-consciously crossed his arms when he remembered he had taken his shirt off to go to sleep. "S-So Susan, what do you n-need?"

"Well," Susan blushed. "my keypad is too high up, and I-I can't get into my room."

"Oh." Dr. C said as he thought of possible solutions. He blushed at the only one he could currently think of. "You can stay in my room."

"Th-Thanks, Doc." Susan said as she stepped into his room.

He closed the door behind her as he thought of the best way to do this.

"You can use my cot." He told her. "I'll just sleep on the floor."

"I can't do that, Doc." She argued. "It's your room. I'll take the floor."

"Susan," Dr. C countered. "what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you do that?"

"I guess..." She agreed reluctantly. "Or...we can just share the cot..."

Dr. C blushed at the thought.

"Well, if you're okay with it..."

"Then it's settled." Susan nodded.

Dr. C laid down first and Susan laid next to him. They both shifted until they found a position comfortable for them both. In the end, Susan had her back pressed against Dr. C's chest with his arms wrapped around her. They both blushed as they felt each other's body heat.

"Goodnight, Doc."

"Goodnight, my dear."

With that said, they both fell to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright! Let's keep this thing rolling! With school starting to come to an end, I'll have a little more time on my hands. So, Enjoy Chapter 2!**

_BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP_

"Ooooh." Susan groaned. "Stupid alarm..."

It was with a quick gasp that she realized she wasn't the only one in the cot she was inhabiting. She turned to look at the unfamiliar man next to her. He was obviously undisturbed by the loud noise. It was then that she remembered the events of the night before. It was with a sigh that she finally relaxed. She looked back at the sleeping doctor. She took in all of him before she shook him in an attempt to wake him. He let out a grunt of disapproval at being awoken.

"Who dares to try-" He was suddenly interrupted by the cot coming out from the both of them. Susan landed on his lap and they stared at each other in surprise.

"S-Sus-Whoa!" He said as the wall pushed them out of the room and out into the open room. They stared at each other with frighten expressions as they breathed heavily. Suddenly, Dr. C started to chuckle.

"What?" Susan said as she felt her own grin coming.

"Y-You should have se-seen the look on your face!" He started laughing. "I-It was hilarious!"

Susan looked at him as he laughed before she soon found herself joining. They sat there on the floor before the sound of someone clearing their throat caught their attention. They turned to see Link, B.O.B., and Insecto looking at them with amused expressions. They scrambled to their feet and stepped away from each other with blushes clearly lighting their faces.

"You guys have a good time last night?" Link teased.

"Oh, please." Dr. C rolled his eyes. "Can't you be a little more mature, Link? Nothing happened. Susan was just locked out of her room and came for my assistance."

"So, you told her to sleep in your room?" Link said clearly amused.

Susan stood uncertainly off to the side as they bickered back and forth. Dr. C was fixing Link with a deadly glare and Link just laughed it off.

"I gotta say, Doc, I didn't think you had it in you." He roughly patted Dr. C on the back. "Respect to you, Doc."

"Well I never!" Dr. C said indignantly.

He was about to say more when another door opened up next to them. Monger flew in on his jetpack. He looked around momentarily confused before he looked down to see a group of people standing below him.

"What the-" He said as he landed next to them. "Who are you?! You shouldn't be here! Top secret!"

"Don't you recognize us, General?" Susan asked.

He stopped his yelling and studied each of them. It was impossible. There was no way.

"Monsters...?" He said questioningly.

"Heh, your age catching up to you?" Link questioned jokingly as he elbowed Insecto in the side.

"Wha...What happened to you!?" Monger demanded.

"Doc changed us to humans!" B.O.B. said as he slung his arm over Monger's shoulder.

Monger glared at B.O.B. as he pushed his arm off of him. He then switched his glare to the doctor. Dr. C was smiling smugly at him with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Told you I wasn't a quack." He declared to him.

"You did what?!" Monger yelled. Even for his short stature, he was able to lift Dr. C easily. "I could easily have you jailed!"

"For what?!" Dr. C laughed. "For changing monsters you had hidden on a secret base into humans, so they can have a life where they aren't being watched 24/7?! Have fun explaining that!"

Monger dropped him in his fury. He started to walk away before he turned around and kicked Dr. C in his stomach.

"You have an hour to leave before I get the authorities." He growled before stomping away.

"Doctor!" Susan exclaimed as she knelt next to the fallen man. "Are you okay?"

He was silent for a while, and Susan stared at him worriedly. Suddenly a dark chuckle started rising in his throat.

"Mwhahahahahahahaha!" He said as he sat on his knees and let the evil scientist in him come out. "I told you I wasn't a quack! You all laughed at me, but look at me now! I did it!"

"Doc!" Susan said as she snapped him out of his rant. "Stop it! You're scaring me!"

He looked at her with regret before he looked back down to the floor in shame.

"I-I'm sorry, Susan." He told her. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm not sure what happened. I-I just kind of lost it."

"Hey, now." Susan said as she used her hand to make Dr. C look at her. "We all lose control of ourselves at one time or another. Don't blame yourself."

"Thank you, my dear." Dr. C smiled at her. He helped her stand back up. "We better get leaving, though. I have no doubt in my mind he'll go through with that threat."

They walked off and grabbed what few belongings they still had. When they met back up, the general was waiting there.

"We are about to leave, General." Susan assured. "We just-"

"Hold on there a second." He interrupted. "I don't want us to leave off on a bad foot. I've arranged for the 'copter to drop you off at your parents home."

"Thank you, General." Susan said as she enveloped him in a hug. "It means a lot."

"Yes...well..." He said obviously uncomfortable. "Can you let go of me now?"

"Oh, sorry." She said as she let go.

Monger turned to Link, B.O.B., and Insecto, and gave each of them their own salute. When he got to Dr. C, the two of them glared at each other. Monger gave a stiff nod, and the Doctor returned it.

"Alright, mon-...Alright, let's move out!" Monger said as he led them to the hanger.

They lined in one by one. The helicopter looked empty without Susan taking up all the space. They sat on the assorted military vehicles. It was silent except for the occasional chitchat from Susan as she tried to lighten up the mood. They felt the helicopter jerk to say that it had landed.

"Good luck to all of you. It has been a pleasure knowing you." His eyes slid over to Dr. C. "Some less than others."

Dr. C just rolled his eyes at the response. They got off the plane and watched as it took back off. Susan turned to look back at her hometown. She excitedly looked at the others. She saw Dr. C smirking at her excitement. She tackled him in a hug.

"Thank you, Doc!" She exclaimed. "I can't believe this is actually happening! It's all thanks to you!"

Dr. C was astonished by what was happening. He looked down at Susan who was still latched onto him. He slowly brought his arms up to hug her back.

"I-It was nothing, my dear." He said blushing.

Suddenly aware of the others watching, she released her grip on the doctor. She turned to look at the others.

"C'mon, guys." She exclaimed laughing as she started taking off running to her parents' house. "Last one there is a rotten egg!"

"Yay!" B.O.B. cheered as he went after her.

"See you there, nerd!" Link called back as he and Insecto took off running.

Dr. C just shook his head and chuckled as he ran after them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Reviews, anyone? I've gotten close to none. They are very much appreciated and welcomed. Whether it's good or not. They help me know if I'm doing my job right! Any who~! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

"Wow...Doc..." Susan panted as they reached her parents porch. "You're really...fast!"

"Thank you, my dear." Dr. C smirked as he seemed unaffected by the race. "All those years of running on ceilings and walls certainly helped."

They turned to see Link, B.O.B., and Insecto finally come up with them. They were panting hard and sweat was poring down their faces.

"Eww!" Link said as he wiped it off. "I like water, but I don't want it coming out of me!"

Susan chuckled and Dr. C fixed him with one of his smirks. B.O.B. laid down on the ground as he continued to pant. Insecto looked at Link and made a couple of growling sounds.

"Yeah, yeah." Link said. "I'm a little out of shape..."

They heard the door behind them open and a pair of feet shuffle out behind them.

"Can we help you?" Susan's mother asked.

"Mom! Daddy!" Susan said as she turned around and pulled them into a family hug.

"Oh, Susan!" Her mother said as she instantly held her daughter tighter. "What happened?! You're small again!"

"It doesn't matter, dear." Her father said happily. "Our Susie's back!"

They stood in each others embrace before her parents saw they weren't alone.

"Susan," Her mother said as she let go of her daughter. "Who are your friends?"

"Oh," Susan said clearly embarrassed that she had forgotten her friends. "You remember the other monsters, don't you?"

"Of course!" Susan's father chuckled. "Who could forget?"

"Well," Susan said as she walked up to Link. "this is The Missing Link."

"'Sup." Link said.

"Insecto." Susan gestured to him.

He just smiled and waved.

"B.O.B." Susan said as she took a place next to him.

"Mom! Dad!" B.O.B. exclaimed happily as he enveloped Susan's parents in a bone breaking embrace. Dr. C just rolled his eyes as he went up to the new group.

"B.O.B., these are Susan's parents." Dr. C said as he pulled the monster-turned-man off of the gasping couple. "Let them breath."

Dr. C turned to look at them apologetically before he extended his hand to them.

"Sorry about that." He said sheepishly. "He's quite the handful at times. I'm Dr. Cockroach."

Both parents shook his hand unbelievingly. The monsters were...humans! They were real people! They were...normal!

"H-How did this happen?" Susan's mother asked.

"It's all thanks to the doctor." Susan said as she put her hand on his shoulder. "If it wasn't for him, we'd all still be in that jail-hole."

"Thank you so much, Doc!" Susan's mother said as she embraced him. "You have no idea how much we've been missing our Susan."

Dr. C stiffened at the hug. He stood there awkwardly until she finally let go.

"I-It was nothing really." Dr. C said bashfully. "Anything t-to make my friends h-happy..."

"Nothing?" Susan's father exclaimed as he shook hands with him and rested his hand on Dr. C's shoulder. "We'll never be able to repay you!"

"Actually..." Susan cut in. "We do need a place to stay...we were hoping you could let us stay here."

"It would be our pleasure." Mrs. Murphy said. "But we don't have enough rooms for everyone. Two of you will need to share."

"Doc and I can share my room." Susan suggested before she could stop herself. Dr. C looked at her in shock with his mouth hanging slightly open.

"Or Link and Insecto can share." Mr. Murphy stepped in. "They seemed like good friends."

"What's wrong with Susan and Doc sharing a room?" B.O.B. asked. "They did last night."

"What!" Mr. Murphy shouted.

"How about you guys go pick out your rooms and put your stuff away?" Mrs. Murphy cut in. "Susan, you can show them the rooms."

"But honey-!" Mr. Murphy tried to argue before his wife started pulling him back into the house.

"Help me start dinner, dear." Mrs. Murphy said. "We have special guests over."

Susan turned back to her friends with a blush. She didn't say anything as she led them upstairs. She opened one room with marine colored walls and matching bed.

"Link, Insecto." Susan finally said. "You can share this room."

They walked in past Susan and she shut the door behind them. The room across from Link and Insecto's was designated to B.O.B. It had red walls and a white bed. That left Dr. C and Susan took make the short walk to what would be his room. It was right across from hers. It had white walls and a black and white checkered bed.

"This is yours." Susan said. "If you need anything, I'll be helping my parents in the kitchen."

"I'll be fine. I'll just hang out in here, but thank you, my dear." Dr. C said. "I appreciate it."

"I should be thanking you, Doc." Susan smiled at him.

"It really was nothing." Dr. C shrugged. "I just wanted you to be happy...and the others, too. Of course."

"Of course." Susan chuckled.

She looked around to see if anyone was looking. Satisfied no one was around, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before she hurried off. Dr. C just stood there frozen. Even after she had rushed away, he just stood there. Finally, he brought his hand to where she kissed his cheek. He closed his new room's door and laid on his bed without removing his hand. He then smiled darkly as he closed his eyes.

* * *

"So, Susan..." Her father said once her mother left the room. "What's the deal with you and the Doc sharing a room?"

"I-It was nothing, Dad." Susan blushed. "I got locked out of my room, so he let me sleep with him."

"Nothing, hmm?" Her father mused. "So I would be incorrect to guess that you gave him the room right across from yours?"

"Dad!" Susan exclaimed.

"Get out, honey." Her mother's voice came out from behind. "Susan and I will handle this."

Mr. Murphy grudgingly walked out of the room. Mrs. Murphy winked at her daughter and Susan giggled.

"Thanks, Mom."

"So..." Her mother drawled out. "Dr. C is pretty cute now, don't you agree?"

"Mom!"


End file.
